Archive
Yummy Baby: A Recipe Book
I suppose young flesh is the most succulent
If it was called “yummy chicken” would you think it was a book about cooking for chickens?
Exactly.
Insects in my nose is one of my favourite things
It's an organic thing. Like cow dung. And miggies up your nostrils.
Miggie is the Afrikaans word for midge. I’m not sure whether the sign is suggesting cow-dung will find its way up your nose along with the midges, but it does seem to imply that this kind of experience is something you might want to be reminded of when looking at the paint on your patio floor.
If you think I’ve found references to cow dung and miggies in Edinburgh, I’m sorry to disappoint you. This is a rather old photo I found on my mobile.
Crappy Prize
Earthcote Competition. Win a free guest
Trawling the mobile phone camera archives. Expect more of this sort of thing.
Costa: 100% Rainforest
Costa coffee cups made from 100% Rainforest
Well not really. 100% Rainforest Alliance Approved or something like that, but it all comes down to perspective doesn’t it?
Also — what’s with the fake wooden slats on the table? You can’t really see from the photo, but the wooden slats on the table are actually stickers. It’s a solid table surface made to look as if it is made from wooden slats, optical illusion style. Except when I look down through the slats, I don’t see my legs under the table so it isn’t very convincing.
Hullets Helps Tourists by Stating the Obvious
World Cup is happening in South Africa, and the Hullets sugar-manufacturing people think tourists are horribly ignorant.
They use to put trite quotations on the back of their sugar sachets, along the lines of “You miss 100% of the slit wrists you don’t cut” or something. Now it’s mundane facts about South Africa, as illustrated.
Hullets. Sugar for Dummies
Cell C vs Tracker. And you thought they weren’t in competition
I’m leaving the country and I have contracts to cancel. Contracts like those for cellular telephone and vehicle-tracking services.
The difference is that Tracker actually gives a shit about their customers (even those who are shortly to cease being their customers) while Cell C doesn’t.
For both Tracker and Cell C, I still have about 11 months remaining on my contract. Tracker magnanimously gave me a 50% discount on the settlement amount, while Cell C want to charge me a R1,000 penalty fee.
Tracker cares what I think about their brand, even if I’m not a customer of theirs. This could be because I might have cause to give a vehicle-tracking service a recommendation. “Hey, Jimmy. Tracker provided pretty good service. Why not use them?”
Even if I don’t give a recommendation, they certainly don’t want me to have anything bad to say about the company or the brand. I mean, pissed off customers typically put a lot more effort into complaining than happy customers put into complementing. Unhappy customers might bad-mouth the brand. Complain to friends. Blog about the poor service and unreasonable contract cancellation terms. Screw around with the logo. Perhaps they might tweet about it, or post it on Facebook. It could go viral. It could become the next internet meme. Tracker wouldn’t want to even risk such a thing, no matter how small the chances of it happening are, while Cell C have made it all the way to the “post it on Facebook” phase.
The Axe Effect — Dying Cockroaches
Good for you!
Indeed, the poisonous substances aisle is a curious place to put a deodorant advertisement. But then again, all Axe adverts seem to suggest that Axe will intoxicate women. I just didn’t realise it went to quite this extent.
Heads up Axe buyers! Those women lunging over towards you are not overcome with lust for your irresistible body, they are overcome by the toxic fumes of your bug-spray.
Stop Telemarketers
I’m not really sure whether this will work or not, but I’m hoping it does.
Sign up for the Don’t Contact Me database and put a stop to sms, email, and telephone spam.
That, at least, is the theory. Perhaps it’s a trap. I’ll let you know whether my spam volumes are amplified in the near future.
Pick ‘n Pay Marketing Drivel
Bullshit is all around you
The Waffle Group Blog by Neil Robinson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
