Luckily they plaster them up again afterwards.

This is what needs to be done when the damp rises and vexes you, as I was vexed previously. Now I pay, but I’m getting value for money. They leave some funky, trip-inducing chemicals in the walls. The fumes are marvellous.

What the hell is this? It doesn’t look like Bali-style architecture to me. It looks like more of that hideous faux-tuscan crap – now with Buddha! And doves of peace!

The horror is, these guys aren’t the first ones to come up with a Villa in the Pure Land (or perhaps, a villa that is the Pure Land).