Travelling around Europe is no excuse for not posting anything here. Not that anyone has actually complained.
Still, the excuse is that internet connectivity is terrible in the UK, especially compared to the superlative offerings in South Africa.
No no. That is also a lie.
It is because the UK was actually invaded by the French, and everyone is forced to talk in French, and I cannot speak French.
Ok. The real reason is that there is a fire burning at the oil refinery near Essex, and the black smoke is reducing visibility — thus the data packets can’t see where to go and keep on getting lost.
If you still don’t believe me, that would be perfectly reasonable and probably indicate that you are still quite sane.
The Waffle Group 
That’s quite a waste of four paragraphs, Master Haggis.
Do hope the holiday is going well, despite the terrible internet access, invading French, and oil refinery blazes.
Not exactly. I have actually given a short account of parts of my holiday in a encrypted form, with place name errors.
There really was a oil depot fire, but it was happening somewhere else.