Month: January 2009

50k Racewalker Competition

Beat my 150 metre 50k Racewalker record and win an exciting prize!

Do you have enough patience to defeat me?
Do you have enough patience to defeat me?

You must submit a screenshot to halfhaggis [at] gmail [dot] com or no prize for you.

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Update: Jan 30, 2009 @ 12:20

The first entry is in! Congratulations to Kittychunk, who will shortly receive a wonderful prize. Next prize winner will need to beat his record of 180 metres!

Do you have enough patience to defeat Kittychunk?
Do you have enough patience to defeat Kittychunk?

Update: Jan 30, 2009 @ 16:20

Congratulations to Michael who has upped the stakes! 320 metres to beat to claim your prize!

Michael will be receiving his wonderful prize shortly.

Do you have the patience to defeat Michael?
Do you have the patience to defeat Michael?

I haven’t noticed this on the beer bottles

The alcohol industry is starting to have to tag warning on to their products. I find some amusement in this example, and it’s not the “Alcohol abuse is dangerous to your health” bit:

Don't drink while pregnant

The joke is in this little logo:

pregnant-drinkingApparently you can spot a woman who is about to give birth to a child affected by fetal alcohol syndrome by the ponytail.
Or perhaps only drinking wine while pregnant, and simultaneously wearing a ponytail and holding your back, is prohibited?
Or perhaps it’s just obese women with back problems and ponytails that they have a problem with.

I think the best approach is to keep alcohol away from women who have ponytails, at least until they agree to undo their hair.

Damp-proofing — Step 1

Smash up all the walls!

Luckily they plaster them up again afterwards.

This is what needs to be done when the damp rises and vexes you, as I was vexed previously. Now I pay, but I’m getting value for money. They leave some funky, trip-inducing chemicals in the walls. The fumes are marvellous.

Satan’s Poodle moves Home

Satan's Poodle -- Ragged ear And is now easier to read than ever before!

It is, unfortunately, not any more complete than before. I am working on The Adventures of Commitment Man, so it won’t be getting any more complete in the near future. Fortunately, lessons have been learned, and they will be applied in making The Adventures of Commitment Man a higher quality product of my warped imagination.

Read Satan’s Poodle now!

Holiday at The Cavern (and a brief stop-over in Clarens)

The Cavern and Clarens holiday break

We spent a week at The Cavern berg resort, and pulled a sneaky stopover in Clarens on the way back to my parents in Welkom (travelling via the beautiful Golden Gate Highlands National Park).

It was a well-deserved rest, and we had a most glorious break. The Cavern is even better when you have children. We had to pay 60% of full adult fee for Jethro, which seems a little cheeky since he was only 6 months old, but they provide well-trained and certified caretakers/nannies to look after the children during meal times. In fact, children under 7 years old are not allowed in the main dining room.
It just isn’t understood how brilliant that is until one has children of their own. When we got to Clarens and stayed over a night a self-catering guest house there, where no-one looks after your children during meals, I understood that I’d been taking it all for granted. I won’t be doing that again in a hurry. The 60% rate that The Cavern charged was well worth it.

Clover milk is not just milk

Our milk only comes from 360 carefully evaluated, hand-picked farms
Clover milk is not just milk. Our milk only comes from 360 carefully evaluated, hand-picked farms

I’m definitely going to buy Clover milk now. If you read their website, you’ll see that they put 110% into everything they do, which makes their milk stay fresh up to 50% longer. Longer than what? Sour cream? Presumably they mean someone else’s milk that is just milk.

Is mathematics a requirement to get a marketing qualification? It really should be, because then the hey-shoo-wow marketing people wouldn’t claim to put 110% of some unspecified ingredient into all of their products. Is this why Clover milk is not just milk, because it is made up of 110% of something else? Is it even milk at all?

The site does give more comprehensive and arguably better thought-out reasons why Clover milk is not just milk, but I don’t know what the other “dairy giants” do, so how do I know that what they do isn’t standard procedure, industry wide?