The Incident of the Toenail in the Early Morning

It seems my wife needs constant husbandly supervision.

Angie went to Mozambique for the long weekend on a girls’ outing. She
managed not to damage herself in any dramatic way until yesterday when
she decided to climb out of a window, her room-mate having lost the key
to the door.
She wiped-out on a metal chair, fell on her knees and adjusted the
position of her big toenail.

Once back in South Africa, I drove her to Olivedale Clinic. Even with
the benefit of local anaesthetic, I think Angie will testify that having
her toenails pulled off would be an effective torture method.

Angie, my love. If I may make a request?
Please stop trying to dismantle yourself.

Re: Foolish wife

Glad I posted my little rant because it helped me not be angry with
Angie who, if I’m honest, narrowly avoided death. I didn’t shout at her
at all.

She was very upset on Sunday morning and cried a great deal. Tears of
relief.
We sorted things out. She wasn’t actually particularly drunk, having
only consumed half a bottle of wine that evening. However, the problem
with anti-biotics is that they mess up your judgement and response times
without making you feel drunk.

To Angie’s credit she was driving in the slow lane on the highway. Her
account of the events was that she hit something on the road (possibly
oil, possibly an object) and spun out of control, right the way across
all lanes before managing to change the direction of the spin. This
caused her to spin back the way across the highway and to hit the
embankment next to the left lane. Then she came to a complete stop.

The friendly Muslim dudes pitched up and one of them drove her home.

Angie is very rattled by the whole thing, so I don’t expect her to go
driving in an even slightly tipsy state any time soon.