World Cup is happening in South Africa, and the Hullets sugar-manufacturing people think tourists are horribly ignorant.
They use to put trite quotations on the back of their sugar sachets, along the lines of “You miss 100% of the slit wrists you don’t cut” or something. Now it’s mundane facts about South Africa, as illustrated.
I now present a small selection of the oddness I wrote there, probably around 2001/2002
That’s what I have
It’s got slime and dust and crap
At least I know it’s mine
It glooged. Then it glooged again. It was the way of the water cooler.
Whenever someone took water from it, it would gurgle an gloog in n enthusiastic and cheerful manner
One might say that
The extraction fan hummed
But ‘hummed’ isn’t quite right
‘Hummed’ is cheerful, happy
The fan wasn’t happy
The fan wasn’t carefree
There was no cheer nor bliss
But still, the fan hummed
There are some weird sketches too. I may scan them and present them for your viewing enjoyment.
Pity the noise doesn’t come across in the pictures, because it was significant
For both Tracker and Cell C, I still have about 11 months remaining on my contract. Tracker magnanimously gave me a 50% discount on the settlement amount, while Cell C want to charge me a R1,000 penalty fee.
Tracker cares what I think about their brand, even if I’m not a customer of theirs. This could be because I might have cause to give a vehicle-tracking service a recommendation. “Hey, Jimmy. Tracker provided pretty good service. Why not use them?”
Even if I don’t give a recommendation, they certainly don’t want me to have anything bad to say about the company or the brand. I mean, pissed off customers typically put a lot more effort into complaining than happy customers put into complementing. Unhappy customers might bad-mouth the brand. Complain to friends. Blog about the poor service and unreasonable contract cancellation terms. Screw around with the logo. Perhaps they might tweet about it, or post it on Facebook. It could go viral. It could become the next internet meme. Tracker wouldn’t want to even risk such a thing, no matter how small the chances of it happening are, while Cell C have made it all the way to the “post it on Facebook” phase.
Saw this on Freshly Pressed and I just couldn’t resist. There hasn’t been actual waffle here for quite some time.
Indeed, the poisonous substances aisle is a curious place to put a deodorant advertisement. But then again, all Axe adverts seem to suggest that Axe will intoxicate women. I just didn’t realise it went to quite this extent.
Heads up Axe buyers! Those women lunging over towards you are not overcome with lust for your irresistible body, they are overcome by the toxic fumes of your bug-spray.