The Wedding Photograph Taker

Over a week has passed since Rob and Louise rammed shut the deadbolt, and threw away the key. The only way out now is the hacksaw of divorce, but I’m not expecting them to take such drastic measures. Those two were incredibly cheerful newly-weds.

There is more to this other than the fact that Rob and Louise are good friends, and Angie and I were pleased to be part of their wedding. Louise got a silly notion into her head that I know how to take photographs. Sure, everyone does.

1. Point lens at subject.
2. Press shutter-release button.
3. Rinse and Repeat.

Louise, however, figured I do the above so well, that I should be the official wedding photographer. Who needs professionals, when you’ve got Neil?

How Neil was Tricked
I agreed to take photographs at the wedding some months before it was due to take place. It wasn’t clear at the time that I would be the photographer. Sneaky Louise. Sneaky.

Although I’m certainly no professional photographer, I do offer value for money. I didn’t charge for my time, and Louise and Rob still got some half-decent photos. Considering I took over 300, I suppose the stats were on my side that I’d get at least one good one.
Rob and Louise pulled the wedding off spectacularly on just a shoestring budget, so it’s understandable that they weren’t too keen to shell out 1000s of rands for a pro. That would’ve snapped the string.

How Neil Tricked the People into Thinking He Knew What He Was Doing
Normally, wedding photographers have big cameras. The bigger the camera, the more hardcore you appear to be. It’s kind of like porn-stars.
You see, it actually has absolutely nothing to do with talent or skill. It’s all in the impression you give.

Unfortunately, I’ve got a small lens.
So I borrowed Quinn’s. His is big.

This had the desired effect. Many people described my scurrying around the church and taking photos as very professional. People kept referring to me as “The Photographer.”
Even when I tried to insist that, no, I’m just the “photograph taker” and that the big camera was a deceptive device to hide my incompetence, the perception of my professionalism remained.

So, thanks again to Quinn for lending me his camera.
Curses to him too, because now I’m shopping for a DSLR, and they don’t come cheap. But they’re so much better, I just can’t go back to using a compact camera. Looks like I’m paying to enhance my assets, so the porn analogy holds.

So I Took The Photos, and Here are A Few

Louise and Rob — the bride and groom.

Roman, who designed and made the dress, and Louise, who wore the dress

After signing the registry, Rob and Louise left the church.