There has been much talk of the Spelling Nazi on Hoblit’s and Hoke’s blog.
Enter the Grammar Nazi!
While perusing the pages of deviant art I stumbled upon this work and associated comments.
There was some unnecessary jibing of the artist by a poster, and so I decided to take action. Read the comments (specifically the one’s I made and those of the person I was replying to). Then return here.
Read the comments yet?
I decided to stir up some trouble, having anointed myself the Grammar Nazi.
It was inappropriate to cause more trouble on that page, so I sent our angry friend a personal note.
“‘no i dont mind looking like an arsehole, because i am an arsehole but i don’t want to portray myself as a moron because i am not. the last time i checked my I.Q. was 136 which is 4 points below genius.’ Hey. At least you’re honest with yourself. But do I sense a little insecurity about your 4 missing I.Q. points? That you need to explicitly cite your I.Q. score at all is indicative of deep felt anxiety regarding your self-worth. Maybe if you weren’t trying so hard to prove how stupid everyone else is compared to you, then perhaps you’d be less of an arsehole.
Good luck in your quest for meaning and pandas in your life!”
This comment of mine stirred him into a vexed rage. He sent me not one caustic reply, but four!
I’ll spare you the full messages, but I will list the gems. A kind of “highlights” package.
- He threatened to bootstomp me six feet into the ground
- He threatened to curbstomp me and defeat me in a trivia contest and claimed to be a superior artist to me — all in one sentence.
- He threatened to kick my teeth in and force me to swallow them.
- He denied being insecure, and professed to being a ‘cocky [naughty word]’ and a borderline genius
- He complemented me on my photography: Yes, you read that right.
- He speculated that I must be from France, but then threatened to astral travel to South Africa and paint the walls with my flesh.
- He professed of his superior intellect once again, and pointed out that he possessed a powerful aura.
- He called me a “stupid bitch” for trying to comment on his “grammer”(sic).
- And, my favourite, he recommended that I “go eat a bag of dicks.” Unfortunately he did not supply me with the contact details of a retailer where I might procure such a delicacy.
He certainly provided me with a good night’s entertainment. Even his a girlfriend jumped into the fray, but she was no where as amusing.
4 thoughts on “The Grammar Nazi”
Outstanding Mr Robinson.
I’m glad to see that you have decided to use you powers for good, well, for the amusement of your friends which is the same thing.
Poor old MoogVermont. Between his bag of dicks and his mysteriously missing four IQ points, he seems to be suffering from a good deal of inferiority.
It would be fun to put him into a large marmalade jar with your brother’s “fucken torso” contact, and shake it a bit to make them fight.
Perhaps a sub-plot for Commitment Man?