Jobcentre leads me to Milk

what have you been doing to look for work Mr Monkey?
Water is no longer allowed

I was disconsolately meandering back from the Jobcentre Plus where I had discovered that I was not eligible for jobseeker’s allowance. Apparently I should never have gone there in the first place, but the consultant who set up the appointment on the phone didn’t ask me the right screening questions.

About to leave the Jobcentre, I was thirsty. I asked if I could get some water. The security guard told me the government cut the budget for the water-coolers and the plastic cups, so no I couldn’t. Is there no water piped into the building? Do the staff just not drink anything all day?

Regardless, the government still had budget for several security guards from G4S.

Milk Bottle
If the place looked like this, I would not have gone in

Still thirsty, I looked for a place to get something to drink. Milk is a drink, so an establishment with that name caught my eye. I didn’t actually order any milk to drink though.

It looked a bit of a hipster place, and the Milk website confirms my suspicions (look at all those retro film filters on the photographs). Who cares? The food was outstanding. I ordered the Cashew and Mango salad. It is not something I would have enjoyed as a child. The flavours were too nuanced and complex. In short, it kicked ass.

I also really enjoyed the mismatched antique cutlery that sits on the tables, and the old weathered wooden benches.

If you happen to be in Edinburgh (I hear there is a festival on the go there at the moment, so you just might be), you should absolutely go to this place.

I’m probably not enough of a hipster to hangout there too much, but damn the food was good. The coffee too.

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Clover milk is not just milk

Our milk only comes from 360 carefully evaluated, hand-picked farms
Clover milk is not just milk. Our milk only comes from 360 carefully evaluated, hand-picked farms

I’m definitely going to buy Clover milk now. If you read their website, you’ll see that they put 110% into everything they do, which makes their milk stay fresh up to 50% longer. Longer than what? Sour cream? Presumably they mean someone else’s milk that is just milk.

Is mathematics a requirement to get a marketing qualification? It really should be, because then the hey-shoo-wow marketing people wouldn’t claim to put 110% of some unspecified ingredient into all of their products. Is this why Clover milk is not just milk, because it is made up of 110% of something else? Is it even milk at all?

The site does give more comprehensive and arguably better thought-out reasons why Clover milk is not just milk, but I don’t know what the other “dairy giants” do, so how do I know that what they do isn’t standard procedure, industry wide?