Yummy Baby: A Recipe Book

I suppose young flesh is the most succulent

If it was called “yummy chicken” would you think it was a book about cooking for chickens?

Exactly.

Little Neil’s 3rd (Decade) Birthday Party Pics

3rd Birthday InvitationI turned 30 recently. I had a party, but I pretended that I was three years old. Naturally, there had to be a jumping castle.

There was going to be a jumping castle and a clown, but in the end I decided to combine the two by hiring a clown who was willing to be jumped on by fully-grown adults.

Check out the gallery on my Flickr account.

There is a lengthy story to go with this too, but lengthy stories take time to write (hell, uploading and titling the photographs took long enough). Plus, I received many gifts and need to thank all the nice people who gave them to me. Hopefully, a longer story will be forth-coming. But if not, the photos tell the story well enough, I think.

If the longer story never emerges, perhaps this notice I gave to my neighbours might help you piece it together:

A party is happening at No. 14 on Sunday, 9 August, starting at 1pm. We are celebrating Women’s Day!

Not really. It’s a birthday party. But we may also celebrate women although that wasn’t the original intent of organising the party.

I don’t expect it to be too disruptive, but there will be music and a jumping castle. Noise from my home is likely to be elevated above normal Sunday afternoon dog-barking levels.

Roughly 35 guests are expected, so you may find the road inside the complex becoming a little congested. I hope this will be bearable for one afternoon.

If you find yourself becoming incensed by any aspect of the activities taking place at No.14 on Sunday, please let me know. I’m a reasonable man. I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.

Thanks for your understanding,

No-one complained.

I haven’t noticed this on the beer bottles

The alcohol industry is starting to have to tag warning on to their products. I find some amusement in this example, and it’s not the “Alcohol abuse is dangerous to your health” bit:

Don't drink while pregnant

The joke is in this little logo:

pregnant-drinkingApparently you can spot a woman who is about to give birth to a child affected by fetal alcohol syndrome by the ponytail.
Or perhaps only drinking wine while pregnant, and simultaneously wearing a ponytail and holding your back, is prohibited?
Or perhaps it’s just obese women with back problems and ponytails that they have a problem with.

I think the best approach is to keep alcohol away from women who have ponytails, at least until they agree to undo their hair.

Damp-proofing — Step 1

Smash up all the walls!

Luckily they plaster them up again afterwards.

This is what needs to be done when the damp rises and vexes you, as I was vexed previously. Now I pay, but I’m getting value for money. They leave some funky, trip-inducing chemicals in the walls. The fumes are marvellous.

Holiday at The Cavern (and a brief stop-over in Clarens)

The Cavern and Clarens holiday break

We spent a week at The Cavern berg resort, and pulled a sneaky stopover in Clarens on the way back to my parents in Welkom (travelling via the beautiful Golden Gate Highlands National Park).

It was a well-deserved rest, and we had a most glorious break. The Cavern is even better when you have children. We had to pay 60% of full adult fee for Jethro, which seems a little cheeky since he was only 6 months old, but they provide well-trained and certified caretakers/nannies to look after the children during meal times. In fact, children under 7 years old are not allowed in the main dining room.
It just isn’t understood how brilliant that is until one has children of their own. When we got to Clarens and stayed over a night a self-catering guest house there, where no-one looks after your children during meals, I understood that I’d been taking it all for granted. I won’t be doing that again in a hurry. The 60% rate that The Cavern charged was well worth it.

Clover milk is not just milk

Our milk only comes from 360 carefully evaluated, hand-picked farms
Clover milk is not just milk. Our milk only comes from 360 carefully evaluated, hand-picked farms

I’m definitely going to buy Clover milk now. If you read their website, you’ll see that they put 110% into everything they do, which makes their milk stay fresh up to 50% longer. Longer than what? Sour cream? Presumably they mean someone else’s milk that is just milk.

Is mathematics a requirement to get a marketing qualification? It really should be, because then the hey-shoo-wow marketing people wouldn’t claim to put 110% of some unspecified ingredient into all of their products. Is this why Clover milk is not just milk, because it is made up of 110% of something else? Is it even milk at all?

The site does give more comprehensive and arguably better thought-out reasons why Clover milk is not just milk, but I don’t know what the other “dairy giants” do, so how do I know that what they do isn’t standard procedure, industry wide?