The Wedding Photograph Taker

Over a week has passed since Rob and Louise rammed shut the deadbolt, and threw away the key. The only way out now is the hacksaw of divorce, but I’m not expecting them to take such drastic measures. Those two were incredibly cheerful newly-weds.

There is more to this other than the fact that Rob and Louise are good friends, and Angie and I were pleased to be part of their wedding. Louise got a silly notion into her head that I know how to take photographs. Sure, everyone does.

  1. Point lens at subject.
  2. Press shutter-release button.
  3. Rinse and Repeat.

Louise, however, figured I do the above so well, that I should be the official wedding photographer. Who needs professionals, when you’ve got Neil?

How Neil was Tricked
I agreed to take photographs at the wedding some months before it was due to take place. It wasn’t clear at the time that I would be the photographer. Sneaky Louise. Sneaky.

Although I’m certainly no professional photographer, I do offer value for money. I didn’t charge for my time, and Louise and Rob still got some half-decent photos. Considering I took over 300, I suppose the stats were on my side that I’d get at least one good one.
Rob and Louise pulled the wedding off spectacularly on just a shoestring budget, so it’s understandable that they weren’t too keen to shell out 1000s of rands for a pro. That would’ve snapped the string.

How Neil Tricked the People into Thinking He Knew What He Was Doing
Normally, wedding photographers have big cameras. The bigger the camera, the more hardcore you appear to be. It’s kind of like porn-stars.
You see, it actually has absolutely nothing to do with talent or skill. It’s all in the impression you give.

Unfortunately, I’ve got a small lens.
So I borrowed Quinn’s. His is big.

This had the desired effect. Many people described my scurrying around the church and taking photos as very professional. People kept referring to me as “The Photographer.”
Even when I tried to insist that, no, I’m just the “photograph taker” and that the big camera was a deceptive device to hide my incompetence, the perception of my professionalism remained.

So, thanks again to Quinn for lending me his camera.
Curses to him too, because now I’m shopping for a DSLR, and they don’t come cheap. But they’re so much better, I just can’t go back to using a compact camera. Looks like I’m paying to enhance my assets, so the porn analogy holds.

So I Took The Photos, and Here are A Few

The bride and groom

Louise and Rob — the bride and groom.

The Dress and the Designer
Roman, who designed and made the dress, and Louise, who wore the dress

leaving church

After signing the registry, Rob and Louise left the church.

The Nature of Money a.k.a. I might be a commie

Dave (that’s Crazy Dave to some, but he’s not really crazy at all — he just pretends) sent me an interesting link the other day. It led me to the Open Money Manifesto.
If you find the manifesto a little heavy reading, try the motivational material for playing the open money simulation game.

Now, describing money as “open” is something that immediately grabs my interest, and runs off with it in a work-avoidance spree of work-hours inefficiency. This is because I like to think of myself as a minor advocate for open source software. It could be described as software socialism — or Buddhism for software (the corollary of open-source software for your brain). But I digress.

That whole lot got me looking into this concept of “community currency.” The community creates its own money for use within the community.
You don’t need any money to begin trading — the money is automatically created when the trade takes place. So someone get debited, and the other party to the transaction gets credited.
The “money” is really just information keeping track of who has traded, and how much.
The money doesn’t ever leave the community. This is what normally happens in today’s economy, resulting in extreme poverty in some areas, and extreme wealth in others — and the wealth is always flowing from the poor to the rich areas. This community currency thing stops that happening.

Those are just a couple of points. Read the linked articles for a better description.

On some investigation I discovered that such a network exists in South Africa. Check out the South African New Economics Network and its Community Exchange System for more info.

Some intriguing questions are raised by this system:
If everyone trades in the community currency, and thus never makes profit or actually earns anything, how happy will the tax-man be?
Can you inherit community currency (cc) from a deceased relative, even if you aren’t a member of the particular community?
Since one can start trading before having any credit, what measures are taken to prevent unscrupulous members of the community buying many goods and services, and then simply buggering off? They do mention something about this in the articles, but I think there may be more avenues for fraud here that haven’t been considered.

There we go kids.

Open Source. Open Religion. Open Money.

A co-operative society is the best way. Everyone shares everything — money, views, ideas, time, labour — and is tolerant of others.

What a nice place Utopia Land is.

Illovo in your pants thwarted

I had some old sugar with Illovo’s marketing slogan written on the packaging — Everybody loves Illovo (in your pants!).

“Excellent!” I thought to myself, rubbing my hands together in a sly, devious fashion.

To my dismay, everybody no longer loves Illovo. Illovo have slightly re-factored their target market:

illovo igrand in my ipants!