All Hail Our Glorious Leader

Leadership in South Africa. It’s looking a little dismal these days.

That Jacob Zuma guy, who’s ostensibly running the country at the moment, seems really nice.  He’s very affable. People like him. He’s charming and makes you want to be his friend. He cracks jokes. He has a jolly laugh.

But the President of the country isn’t supposed to be a stand-up comedian. Not saying that comedians can’t become presidents of countries, but they should probably take a sabbatical from comedy until after their term of office…

Read the rest of this Valuable Rubbish at the Moral Fibre Blog.

Yes, that’s right. I’ve spewed out yet another blog. This time for more serious, lengthier commentary. Waffle Group used to serve this function, but I’m not sure what Waffle Group does any more. It seems to display photos at the moment. Perhaps next week it will do something else.

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Breaking things that work

Can someone explain why governmental bureaucrats like to shut down or cripple successful projects, just because they didn’t think of the idea?

This innovative prisoner rehabilitation project, for example.

Please can we work together on these social issues. If someone else gets something right, rather build on it and make it better, than be jealous and break it down. It really doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game. Everyone can benefit.

Perhaps there is a valid reason for discontinuing the project that has been poorly communicated. Perhaps it’s just biased reporting. But if the responsible officials don’t respond to the reporter’s requests for comment, it is rather difficult for the reporter to present the government’s viewpoint.

I trust I can rely on your vote?

Ballot BoxThe South African National Elections are swiftly approaching, and election posters are littering the streets.

There are plentiful examples of everyone’s favourite ANC leader, Jacob Zuma, and his cheesy it-wasn’t-me grin. Or is it more of a Alfred E. Newman “What, Me Worry?” kind of look?

Regardless of the visage of JayZee, there are also a number of posters that try to instill in us, the electorate, a passion to vote for a particular party. I’ve already made fun of the ANC’s poster, but on hindsight I’ve decided I’ve been a little discriminatory. We wouldn’t want that in the 15-year-old New South Africa.

Everyone has an election slogan, and generally these can all be improved by adding the phrase “in your pants” to the end of whatever our political overlords have told us.

If you like, you could choose your political party based on which one sounded the least (or most) ridiculous with in your pants tagged on to the end of the slogan.

Going in alphabetical order, we have:

That’s just a few. Adding in your pants to the rest of the political parties’ slogans is left as an exercise for the reader.

I will stop in your pants
I will stop at nothing in your pants
Say the right things in your pants
When electioneering in your pants
I trust I can rely on your vote in your pants

Apologies to Radiohead: Electioneering

US Motor Industry wants a hand out too

The US Motor industry want a piece of that financial aid the US government seems to be handing out to irresponsible bankers at the moment. The motor industry have already been given $25 billion to develop gas-not-guzzlers, but a cleaner environment isn’t really their focus at the moment. They’d rather use it to prevent bankruptcy.

But Congress, or the Senate, or whoever it is who makes the decisions in that loopy superpower country, isn’t really buying in to the story.

The day’s hearings, before the House Financial Services Committee, got off to a rousing start when panel chairperson Barney Frank asked how the government could justify a bailout for banks and insurers, but not the automakers.

“Frankly, there seems to me to be an inherent cultural bias,” Frank said. “Aid to blue-collar employees is being judged by a standard different than white-collar employees.”

But is the aid the motor industry asking for really going to help the blue-collar workers on the shop floor?

Gary Ackerman, Democrat from New York, noted the irony of the CEOs flying on private jets and “getting off with tin cups in their hands”.

“Couldn’t you have downgraded to first class or something, or jet-pooled … to get here?” he asked. “It’s almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in a high hat and tuxedo.”

The executives on Wednesday’s panel — GM CEO Rick Wagoner, Ford CEO Alan Mulally and Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli — all flew to the hearings on private jets.

The Onion couldn’t make this stuff up!

All excerpts from the Mail & Guardian

Hey Thabo!

Read this from AFP:

But experts in South Africa said the run-off election with Mugabe the sole candidate may already be in violation of the country’s laws.

“If we follow the Zimbabwe Electoral Act, legally, Morgan Tsvangirai is the winner, the regime having failed to organise a rerun within 21 days after the election result was released,” said Ross Herbert of the South African Institute of International Affairs.

“This Friday’s rerun is clearly outside the law and so, its outcome will be illegitimate,” the researcher at the Johannesburg-based institute told AFP.

Of course, Bob breaking his own country’s laws is probably not a problem for you, since you’ve just renewed Jackie Selebi’s contract as Commissioner of Police.

Both characters must be innocent until proven guilty.

Zuma implies he is some, as yet to be determined, fraction guilty

Jacob Zuma has declared that he’s not even half guilty of corruption charges levelled against him. Interesting that he doesn’t just say he’s innocent.

So how guilty are you JZ? A quarter? An eighth? Perhaps a third?

When the court finds one three sixteenths guilty, does one serve a pro rata sentence?

The gun is mightier than the pen

It appears that Mugabe has given up all pretenses of running a fair election, saying “We are not going to give up our country because of a mere X. How can a ballpoint pen fight with a gun?

I suppose he has a point. Perhaps it depends on the ballpoint pen to gun ratio?

After this announcement, I’ll be completely mortified if any dumbass South African politician asserts that the elections can still be free and fair (as if the intimidation and violence so far wasn’t enough).