World Cup is happening in South Africa, and the Hullets sugar-manufacturing people think tourists are horribly ignorant.
They use to put trite quotations on the back of their sugar sachets, along the lines of “You miss 100% of the slit wrists you don’t cut” or something. Now it’s mundane facts about South Africa, as illustrated.
Hullets. Sugar for Dummies
I’m leaving the country and I have contracts to cancel. Contracts like those for cellular telephone and vehicle-tracking services.
The difference is that Tracker actually gives a shit about their customers (even those who are shortly to cease being their customers) while Cell C doesn’t.
For both Tracker and Cell C, I still have about 11 months remaining on my contract. Tracker magnanimously gave me a 50% discount on the settlement amount, while Cell C want to charge me a R1,000 penalty fee.
Tracker cares what I think about their brand, even if I’m not a customer of theirs. This could be because I might have cause to give a vehicle-tracking service a recommendation. “Hey, Jimmy. Tracker provided pretty good service. Why not use them?”
Even if I don’t give a recommendation, they certainly don’t want me to have anything bad to say about the company or the brand. I mean, pissed off customers typically put a lot more effort into complaining than happy customers put into complementing. Unhappy customers might bad-mouth the brand. Complain to friends. Blog about the poor service and unreasonable contract cancellation terms. Screw around with the logo. Perhaps they might tweet about it, or post it on Facebook. It could go viral. It could become the next internet meme. Tracker wouldn’t want to even risk such a thing, no matter how small the chances of it happening are, while Cell C have made it all the way to the “post it on Facebook” phase.
Good for you!
Indeed, the poisonous substances aisle is a curious place to put a deodorant advertisement. But then again, all Axe adverts seem to suggest that Axe will intoxicate women. I just didn’t realise it went to quite this extent.
Heads up Axe buyers! Those women lunging over towards you are not overcome with lust for your irresistible body, they are overcome by the toxic fumes of your bug-spray.
I’m not really sure whether this will work or not, but I’m hoping it does.
Sign up for the Don’t Contact Me database and put a stop to sms, email, and telephone spam.
That, at least, is the theory. Perhaps it’s a trap. I’ll let you know whether my spam volumes are amplified in the near future.
Bullshit is all around you
I just can’t wait to get my hands on a few bottles of these paroxysm-inducing wines.
I’ve been looking for a wine that will go well with rotting carcass goulash, and the Bottoms Up! Barolo is sure to fit the bill nicely.
I rather like ducks, and because of this I’ve never wanted to invade their space by latching on to their beaks. I have, however, always wondered what the fluid contained therein would be like. With Shit-Faced Shiraz, I need wonder no longer.
I’m going to have to give the Modderdam Malbec a wide berth though. I just don’t really agree with the labour practices they’ve used to bring us this wine, no matter how good a wine it is.
The South African National Elections are swiftly approaching, and election posters are littering the streets.
There are plentiful examples of everyone’s favourite ANC leader, Jacob Zuma, and his cheesy it-wasn’t-me grin. Or is it more of a Alfred E. Newman “What, Me Worry?” kind of look?
Regardless of the visage of JayZee, there are also a number of posters that try to instill in us, the electorate, a passion to vote for a particular party. I’ve already made fun of the ANC’s poster, but on hindsight I’ve decided I’ve been a little discriminatory. We wouldn’t want that in the 15-year-old New South Africa.
Everyone has an election slogan, and generally these can all be improved by adding the phrase “in your pants” to the end of whatever our political overlords have told us.
If you like, you could choose your political party based on which one sounded the least (or most) ridiculous with in your pants tagged on to the end of the slogan.
Going in alphabetical order, we have:
That’s just a few. Adding in your pants to the rest of the political parties’ slogans is left as an exercise for the reader.
I will stop in your pants
I will stop at nothing in your pants
Say the right things in your pants
When electioneering in your pants
I trust I can rely on your vote in your pantsApologies to Radiohead: Electioneering
Chevron’s tag-line has taken a worrying turn. I think they might be going too far with the search for alternative energy sources.
Too bad their logo isn’t green, which would truly confirm my suspicions.
Angie’s charity has gone through a re-branding process and is now known as Equip.
This happened a while ago, but I was waiting for their webpage to go live before announcing it here.
Where many charities aim at educating children, Equip focuses on those who fell through the Bantu-education cracks when they were young. The philosophy is that adults who are better educated, and value education, will inspire these virtues in their children. An education will then change, not only their own lives, but shape the future lives of their children.
To this goal, Equip provides Adult Basic Education and Training to Matric level, via night schools. They also offer other courses including computer literacy, cashier training for point-of-sale machines, dressmaking and crafting skills, English literacy and financial literacy. Where possible, they also try to get people who successfully complete courses employed.
As with all charities, Equip needs donations to keep up the good work helping those in need. Contact Equip, and loosen those purse-strings!
On a technical note, the menus in the sidebar don’t render correctly in Firefox on Linux. When I complained, the developers showed me that Firefox for Windows doesn’t suffer these mysterious problems. Ah well. Linux and it’s 0.00000005% market-share will just have to suck it up
