Category: humour

Happy Birthday Stu!

It seems I’ve upset my dear middle brother by not phoning him on his birthday yesterday.

Sorry Stu!

Curiously, his birthday falls on the same day as International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Ironically, I remembered that it was “talk like a pirate day” because it was his birthday, but forgot it was his birthday because I remembered it was “talk like a pirate day.” Silly me. Not concentrating.

Stu was full of woe. Here is how I know:

(10:38:44 AM) Neil: Sorry about that. I did remember, I just forgot to tell you I’d remembered. How was the day?
(10:41:43 AM) (@) StuDude: it was not marvellous – i kept on checking my phone for messages…
(10:41:52 AM) (@) StuDude: my hand gre tired
(10:41:55 AM) (@) StuDude: and my brain as well
(10:42:06 AM) (@) StuDude: and my mood darkened accordingly
(10:42:25 AM) (@) StuDude: until i went out
(10:42:39 AM) (@) StuDude: and still there were no happy thoughts directed towards me
(10:42:47 AM) (@) StuDude: i felt gutted
(10:42:59 AM) (@) StuDude: thoughts of suicide permeated my mind
(10:43:41 AM) Neil: That good, huh?
(10:43:51 AM) (@) StuDude: razor blades flitted in and out of my hazy tear-filled eyes
(10:44:02 AM) (@) StuDude: oops – vision
(10:44:12 AM) (@) StuDude: not eyes
(10:44:18 AM) (@) StuDude: tear-impeded actually
(10:44:18 AM) (@) StuDude: vision
(10:44:32 AM) (@) StuDude: eyes still whole
(10:44:37 AM) (@) StuDude: …
(10:44:37 AM) (@) StuDude: for now

He too would have an amusing blog, if he were to have one. Which he won’t. Can hardly even get an email out of the man.

One more time. Sorry you’re a little upset, but I still love you bro’, so don’t read too much into it.

Dreaming of volcanoes

I recently discovered while reading about South Africa on wikipedia that South Africa politically owns the Prince Edward Islands. I starting thinking that I should pay a visit to this far flung South African destination. The islands have a volcanic origin, and the volcano is active. Technically, this means that there is a volcano in South Africa. How can we not visit the South African volcano?

Presumably because of this (but also possibly due to thinking about Mount Doom) I dreamed that I actually went to visit Marion Island.
I climbed up, but didn’t get all the way over to the edge because it was hot and glowing and dangerous-looking. Then it started to erupt. Kind of. It spat some rocks out into the air and I was worried that I might get hit on the head by them.
I decided it would be a good idea to get off the side of the volcano. As headed away from the crater, I noticed that the other tourists (yes, there were about five other people casually wandering about on the side of the volcano) were all wearing hard-hats. Why the hell wasn’t I given a hard-hat?

I feel a little less enthusiastic about visiting the place now.

Something About Easter

I went for a walk and look what I found at the bus-stop.
In case you can’t read the text, in the picture, it is transcribed below. The question marks are for the text that I can’t make out, but I think you’ll get the idea:

Easter, brings, us, joy, &, happiness
All, people, love, Easter, because, they, enjoy, ???
So, many, children, love, the, Easter, bunny
Tell, the, people, to, cellebrate, this, Easter
Every, time, Easter, comes, everybody, ???
Rise, shine, it’s, EASTER!!!!

Brad Meyer

Thanks Brad. You made my day! Posted by Picasa

So who’s been watching the Shining then?

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
all worjk and no play makes jack adull boy
all work nd no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All Works and no play makes jack a sull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jAvk a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack adull boy.
All wokr and No play make Jack a dull boy
All worka nd play makes jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes Jack a duill boy
Alll woirk and no play makes jack a dull boyu

Ten Things to Do to Chuck Norris Before You Die

1. Attempt to stab Chuck Norris
2. Attempt to shoot Chuck Norris
3. Attempt to blow-up Chuck Norris
4. Attempt to kick Chuck Norris
5. Attempt to punch Chuck Norris
6. Attempt to push Chuck Norris
7. Attempt to spit on Chuck Norris
8. Laugh at Chuck Norris
9. Make fun of Chuck Norris
10. Be male and attempt to kiss Chuck Norris

Inspired by Kittychunk’s comment