Bring on the Gautrain! (but have it stop in every suburb in Joburg)

There is one major drawback of owning one car — you only have one car. This is, of course, also the major strength of owning one car.

This week, it’s proving to be a weakness.

While driving home via the N1 highway on Tuesday afternoon, the engine stopped working. I don’t really have the full details since Angie was driving. She really should be the one sharing this story, but we all know that is unlikely to happen. I’ll do my best.

The car cut out in the middle lane, and Angie came to a stop. Soon afterwards, I received a frantic phone-call from her, pleading with me to please help her. The car has stopped dead! People are hooting! I can’t get out of the car! Help me!
I wasn’t really sure what I was meant to do, considering that a) I was far from the scene, b) I had no way of easily reaching the scene, c) Even if I could get there quickly, I still wouldn’t be able to do anything.
I should’ve told her to phone the insurance people, but I faltered. Under pressure, I couldn’t really think of what to tell her to do. In the end I told her to phone 112 — the cellphone emergency number.
The problem was further exacerbated by the fact that I couldn’t keep Angie on the phone and try to calm her down because her cellphone battery was almost kaput. This left us with SMS communication. Clumsy and difficult. And confusing at times.

On the bright side, Angie had 15 seconds of fame as she made the 5FM traffic news (and probably other radio stations’ news too) for causing an obstruction on the N1, and slowing traffic.

Ultimately, a tow-truck arrived to transport Angie and the car home. The confusion of the SMSs played a part here. From our texted communication, I thought that the tow-truck had picked up the car and left Angie on the side of the road. Panicked, I phoned Quinn to ask him to give me a lift to fetch Angie (who I believed, was flapping at the side of the road — using words like “desperate” can give that impression).
By the time Quinn arrived, Angie texted me to say that the tow-truck had arrived and would be bringing her home soon.
Why I thought it had already made an appearance isn’t entirely clear to me now.

The truck brought the car home, to my slight dismay. Because we’d need to tow it somewhere else the next day — at additional expense. At which point Quinn brought to my attention that the insurance people should do it. At which point I felt foolish for having paid R500.00 to get it towed home.

The fun of the night was not yet complete.

By this point, it was about 18h30. Angie and I had intended to have pizza that night, and we were not intending on changing our plans. Kindly, Quinn dropped us off at the pizza place in our suburb. We ate the pizza, cursed our dismal luck with automobiles, and drank wine.
Then we walked home. At night. In Johannesburg. That’s right kids. It’s not really that scary. The pizza place is only about 1.5 kilometres from home.
Except…
As we got to the last corner before turning into our town-house complex, we encountered many agitated people on the road outside a house. And then one of the ADT security vehicles came flying by. We overheard the word “hijack.” The people looked at us as if we were strange circus beasts, or a rare species of bird — a breeding pair of the lesser-known white-skinned nocturnal pedestrian.

The fun of the night concluded there, but the fun of the car continues! Read on!

The truck was towed on Wednesday morning to a service station, where I was cheerfully informed that the cam-belt had snapped, bending all valves.
People with cars dread this happening. Fixing it involves replacing a bunch of stuff, and taking engines apart and so on. It apparently costs a lot because it takes a while to get everything done. I don’t really know for sure because I’m more of a geek than a mechanic. Which is why I get ripped-off by mechanics and not by PC sales-people. In hindsight, given the relative expense of purchasing and maintaining PCs versus motorcars, I should’ve taken more interest in mechanical operating systems, than in computer operating systems. At least from a financial perspective.
Further adding to my grief is the fact that the service station couldn’t source one of the spare parts before the end of today. It’s now the Easter weekend, which means I have no car until Tuesday.
We booked two nights at Goblin’s cove over the weekend.
Fortunately, Angie can abuse her position at her NGO and borrow the organisation’s car for the weekend. So, at least we are vaguely mobile once again.

These, and other unmentioned things, led me to return to get my hit of Buddhism on Wednesday. Something I’d been missing lately. One needs to attend classes regularly otherwise one forgets to keep doing those useful things that keeps one calm.

I’m keeping calm again, which is much better than the grumpiness I had been returning to.

Enough waffle — for now.

The pod splashed down safely in the Pacific

I’m back on Earth now.

Audit Fun in Sishen
The week in Sishen has been elucidating, and, as you are already aware — red.
I know a lot more about environmental auditing now. I also know a lot more about Sishen Iron Ore Mine. Although I know more, this must not be mistaken with me knowing much. That mine is massive, and 5 days to look around only gets the dust of knowledge under one’s nail.
I’d probably have to stay there 2 years before the dust of knowledge coated me as thickly as the physical dust of iron ore did in the 5 days of my visit.

I just washed my clothes, and it seems I’m going to have to get used to a red undertone in the denim. Ah well.

But what does Mars actually look like?

Mars looks like that pit. Doesn’t really seem that big, does it? Well, here’s something to give you a little perspective on it all. Those three little blotchy bits in the middle are haulpacks. They are the massive 250 ton trucks that move the iron ore from the pits to the stockpiles, and from the stockpiles to the primary crusher.

They don’t really look like much there, but they are big yellow (at least, initially yellow) trucks. The little people seen maintaining them in the following two photos are, in fact, normal-sized people. Thus, the trucks are enormous. Thus, the pit is bigger than enormous. I can’t think of a word for that at the moment. I’ll make one up instead — the pit is gigabig.

In conclusion, the place is big and red, as is everything in it (this includes quite a few of the people, although results may vary). I may be repeating myself on this, but I don’t believe it is possible to over-emphasise the importance of the bigness and redness of Sishen Iron Ore Mine.

That’s not all. For your viewing pleasure I also present an image of part of the mostly decommissioned south plant. When the mine started the crushing and screening plant was here.
All that is left is the reinforced concrete skeleton of the place. It was a little like I’d found evidence of the lost civilisation of Mars. Of course, that wasn’t really the case. If I’d really found a Martian civilisation, then I’d find evidence of intelligent extra-terrestrial life. All there seemed to be around Sishen were miners [1].

I don’t think that I can really go into the details of the audit (and I’m thinking even these photos might be iffy, but I don’t think I’m really giving very much away that isn’t public knowledge anyway), so I’ll move on to the difficulties of leading a vegetarian lifestyle in the Kalahari.

The Difficulties of Leading a Vegetarian Lifestyle in the Kalahari
I stayed at the Cranberry Cottage, a B&B in the town of Kathu, just a few kilometres from the mine. It’s a really lovely place to stay if you happen to be passing through that way for some reason or another. I really liked it there. The hospitality was traditionally Afrikaans, and the people were extremely friendly, even to Engelsmanne like my colleague and me. But then we threw them a curve-ball: Could they cater for a vegetarian?

Puzzled looks. Very puzzled. Cranberry Cottage is a family run business, and so the members of the family really care about the service and experience they provide to their guests. I really felt for Magda Fourie as she tried to get her head around this concept of me not wanting to eat any meat.
“Vegetarian?” she asked, “Will you eat chicken?”
“Uh…” I said, but not wanting to distress her, but my facial expression must have been skeptical.
“Fish?” she ventured.
Hesitantly, I agreed that fish would be an acceptable “vegetarian” meal. That evening, for dinner, they made me an especially prepared chicken potjie. By not digging too deep into the stew-pot, I managed to avoid most of the chicken and feasted on the included vegetables.

There was a rerun of this on another of the days where we negotiated for fried fish as my vegetarian meal, and I received braaied chicken. Crispy. Charred. Very much a dead animal. Not wanting to offend my hosts and their efforts to provide me with a vegetarian meal, I struggled through the chicken, eventually giving a third of it to my colleague who’d already polished off a T-bone steak.

But hey, as Magda told me one of the evenings, “In the Kalahari, chicken is a vegetable.”

The guest house wasn’t the only place where I was met with general confusion regarding my lifestyle choices. The guys we dealt with on the mine were also perplexed, although whoever did the catering at the mine seemed to understand what vegetarian meant. I was provided with a Greek salad for lunch once I’d let them know of my meal preferences. No chicken or fish in sight. Unfortunately there was also no originality in sight. While everyone else was provided with a different meaty dish each day, I got my trusty Greek salad, three days running.

One of the people we dealt with assumed I must be on a diet. I think the other guy assumed I was crazy. Every time I ate my salad he made some comment about it. Eventually I got a little annoyed and asked him why he didn’t eat his tortoise (which he’d rescued and nursed back to health after being run-over) or his pet dog. We concluded that he only eats animals he hasn’t taken the time to get to know. I let my follow-up question slide. Why doesn’t he eat people he hasn’t yet got to know?

[1] And they were very nice miners. If you are one of those people who likes to perpetuate stereotypes, you might choose to interpret this comment as implying that miners are not intelligent. However, there are a number of interpretations of the statement available to our intrepid reader. Examples; Miners are not alien lifeforms, Miners are not intelligent aliens, There are only miners in Sishen and no aliens, The Holy Grail is buried at Sishen, The winning lottery numbers are 8 13 27 32 38 44
The interpretation is entirely up to you

Online windows woes

Some time back I gave a little lesson on using one’s cell phone as a modem with linux.
I just recently tried to get it to work in windows, and have failed.

Even with Nokia’s built-in software effort, which should work “out-of-the-box,” I’ve had no joy. This gives me a warm fuzzy feeling deep down in my tummy, because Linux seems to support Nokia’s phone better than Nokia (in collaboration with Microsoft Windows) does.

Stay the patient course — for yourself (In your pants?)

In the course of my work, I make use of the South African Agricultural Geo-Referenced System dynamic map service.

Today the service was down. It told me this:

Stay the patient course
of little worth is your ire,
the map service, is down.
Please try again later.

I hope they randomise it so that you don’t get the same message over and over. Otherwise, staying the patient course may rapidly become troublesome.

Much like the case with Cell C. They’ve recently redone their webpage, and appear to have contracted possums for the job. Whenever I log in and try to access my account info, I get this message:

here i am scratching my head
wondering what happened. . . .
but never fear sometimes life is random. one thousand grovelling pardons for any inconvenience caused.

They issue 1000 pardons because it’s happened about that many times.
Guys, it’s not random if it happens every time!

Using your GPRS phone as a modem with linux

I’m using Ubuntu Linux 6.06.1 Dapper Drake.
This should probably work for other distros, but I can’t be sure because I don’t really know what I’m doing.

The little piece of magic you’ll need is an application called wvdial. It should be come standard with your distro.

Then, a USB cable job to connect the phone to the PC. Chances are that you’ll be able to get it to work this way over bluetooth too, but I don’t know for sure.

Ok. easy steps:

1. Make sure your phone can access the intarwebs with its internal browser via GPRS. Contact your service provider to get this sorted. Will Cell C, if you can send MMS, you can access the intarwebs.
2.. Connect the phone to the PC via the usb cable
3. Open up a terminal, and type the following:

$sudo wvdialconf

Enter your password at the prompt.

Stuff will happen, and hopefully your phone will be configured.

Then, using your favourite text editor (I used nano – replace “nano” with “vi” or “gedit” or whatever )

$sudo nano /etc/wvdial.conf

Find the line that looks a little like this:

; Phone = [blah blah blah]

It doesn’t actually say “blah blah blah,” but I can’t remeber the original text. You need to change that to your service provider’s Access Point Number (APN)
For Cell C, change that to:

Phone = *99*#

For MTN, change it to:

Phone = *99#

For Vodacom, change it to:

I have no idea. Best phone the helpline guys and ask what the APN is.

Then, change password and username fields to whatever they should be. I used “null” for both.

Save the file.

4. Run $wvdial

The end. Check if you are connected by typing

$ifconfig

If you have something with ppp0, then you’re a winner. If not, sorry.

Bye bye dial-up. Hello GPRS/EDGE

Don’t try calling me at home anymore – it shouldn’t work.
In an effort to restore balance to the force, and combat those who order ADSL from the Beast, I’ve cancelled my Telkom line. It is no more.
Although, the real reason for cancelling it was because my dial-up modem died – again. I was advised that getting my cellphone to play modem in linux was actually a snap. And indeed it is.

So, having got my cellphone to work as a modem, I bought myself a data bundle for a value less than what I’ve been paying for my monthly phone-bill (which almost wholly consisted of calls to my ISP). Hopefully 500 megs per month will be enough. Won’t be downloading any Linux distros though.

The sadly-sadly consequence of this is that I’ve also cancelled my ISP account. One month notice required. Therefore, the original waffle group page (and the twisted tour) will soon disappear into the digital oblivion. Better check it out one last time before it’s no more.

Toshiba/Microsoft/End-User Wars

Admittedly, it doesn’t quite have the same ring as “Star Wars,” but I figure that certain portions of my readership may find this interesting.

Kyle (the honorary family member) has embarked on a crusade against the major corporations of evil etc. etc. that:

  1. Refuse to sell their notebooks without Windows pre-installed
  2. Refuse to honour the terms of the EULA – i.e. refund the user that doesn’t accept Microsoft’s licence

To be read in the following order:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Enjoy.

The Other Waffle Group

When ‘p’ comes before ‘s,’ you don’t get blogspot, you get blogpsot.

And theye shall hurl ye olde Bible towarde yonder noggin.

I should chat to Sam in Hong Kong more. Perhaps this kind of amusement will happen again.

The transcript from our MSN chat:

(03:51:18 PM) Neil: Angie is very very well. Have you checked out my blog lately? it has details regarding my life that you may or may not find interesting. http://thewafflegroup.blogpsot.com
(03:51:37 PM) Neil: Some of the details include things about Angie
(03:51:53 PM) Neil: She’s working for an NPO now
(03:52:56 PM) Neil: How is your wife? Not sure you’ve even ever told me her name, you secretive sneaky man
(03:53:27 PM) Neil: Do you have a blog by any chance? (one that I’ll be able to understand)
(03:56:14 PM) Samuel: bible study???
(03:56:22 PM) Samuel: huh?
(03:56:45 PM) Neil: Bible study? WTF?
(03:57:22 PM) Neil: Are you referring to the meditation?
(03:57:51 PM) Samuel: what’s that all about? amazing bible study??? your website’s got attacked?
(03:59:10 PM) Neil: Oh. Uh, typo: Should be: http://thewafflegroup.blogspot.com/
(03:59:24 PM) Neil: But that’s really funny
(04:00:04 PM) Samuel: 😀