I could write a whole spiel in the style of Star Wars, drawing an analogy between the Handytards fighting the evil empire of DIY, but I’ve got the reference to Star Wars all backwards. I also can’t be bothered today. Instead, the photos must tell the story.
Do you struggle to hammer nails into a wall without chipping out massive chunks of masonry and plaster?
Do all the picture frames you hang on walls stay there for less time than it took for you to put the picture up in the first place?
Does the grass you mow never grow back?
Do the plants in the garden attempt to prune you?
Does changing a light-bulb generally result in an electrical discharge?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may be a Handytard.
But don’t worry. It’s more common than you think.
Thousands of men suffer from Handytardism, and don’t even know it. Most men who are handytards only discover this fact once they buy a house and try to start a family. Due to this, some handytards could go undiagnosed for their whole lives.
Many handytards are affected by the social stigma attached to handytardism. Handytardism is, in fact, a direct affront on their masculinity. Men who cannot fix the broken things in their homes, or successfully hang decorations on the walls for their women, may as well be impotent.
Handytards of the world, do not fret!
Fortunately there is an easy solution that even the most inept would-be handy-man can use to his benefit. This solution is guaranteed to please your woman, and has been widely utilised by men with erectile dysfunction.